Trials and Tribulations of the Tenderoni Weblog

“Oh, I thought it was the trash!”

Archive for November, 2007

Silence is Golden

Posted by itiwtt on November 29, 2007

How hood is he?

Watching the new movie “This Christmas” was the thing to do over the Thanksgiving break.  Everybody I know either saw it or wanted to see it.  Why out of all places did me and Tyra pick The Parks Mall for our viewing pleasure?  Let’s just say you probably won’t be seeing me there anytime soon!

There comes a point in your life when you realize that you’re REALLY getting older.  For instance, when some teenager calls you ma’am, or you refer to anyone under 21 as “the kids”.  You find yourself wondering what respectable person wears those outfits, or you don’t know what the hell the new rap song is talking about or that it even has a routine to it.  This has become my reality.  I depend on my 9 year old nephew or my school teacher friends to teach me the latest in “what the kids are doing” so I can feel hip.  (I don’t even think the kids say hip anymore….).  We must have forgotten that it was Thanksgiving break AND the Parks Mall is a kids favorite hangout.  Now let me explain to you the numerous ways this one night reminded us that we were……………..mature.

#1- We were both sooo out of style.  It was freezing and rainy outside so I had on an Old Navy fleece with my fleece pants and matching fleece hat (comfort and warmth over style).  Tyra was a little more stylish with her kangol, scarf, simple top and leather jacket.  We found ourselves frowning at the multi-color, dollar sign emblazed, oversized hoodies for the guys and fur-trimmed hooded jackets, snowboots, and gold accents anywhere possible for the girls.  I actually felt the urge to say “pull up your pants!”.

#2 – As we’re walking thru the crowd of kids, Ty actually states that she feels like she should clutch her purse. This was actually a good idea considering she found out from one of her co-workers today that his wife got robbed at that mall!

#3 – There is a policeman IN the movie.  Not in the concessions area, but in the actual theatre.  You have to bypass the police to get a seat.  Don’t you hate when there are two seats in the middle of the row and people wait until you’ve climbed over 6 people just to tell you “these seats are saved”.  Jerks!

#4 – Before the previews begin, an usher gets on the microphone and gives us our “fair warning”.  He says that the theater practices the “SIG” policy (silence is golden) and that this is our fair warning and they will not hesitate to escort you out.  I have never in my life been given a disclaimer before a movie starts.  I’m insulted!  We begin to wonder if we made a mistake by going there.  Then the lights go out, the previews begin,  and Tyra gets hit by a flying M&M.  She then bothers the White lady next to her asking if she saw it too.

#5 – Regina King’s husband played by Laz Alonso comes on the screen all suited up looking suave and scrumptious.  Tyra and I both melt while giving him the “mmmm who is that!”- No confirmations from our fellow moviegoers.  Chris Brown’s little scrawny a$$ sits up on the bed with no shirt on – The crowd goes wild!!!!!

As we manuevered our way thru all the kids waiting on their Mamas and older brothers to come pick them up, I realized the kids acted better than I expected during the movie.  There was only one outburst of “shut yo MF’in a$$ up” and only one instance of a possible brawl.  I really enjoyed the movie, but I think I will be picking another location for my viewing pleasure next time. 

“The children ARE our future.  That’s why you must help save Lincoln Park.” – Lisa McDowell at the Miss Black Awareness Pageant

 ~MissTrina

 Trina,

Okay I must agree I am at a point in life to avoid crowds at all cost Especially KIDS. Now since you all live around hella black folks, I could see the clothes and over the top outfits. I really don’t have that problem. However the movie here was packed, that’s because everyone here wants to be in-tune with their blackness. Now I didn’t care for the movie that much, it was too much overtime in my opinion. But yea you two were the old broads in the theater, that should teach you a few lessons, to go to the white neighborhoods #1, and go to the matinee #2.

~Jaye

Miss Trina,

 Yes, we are getting old. We still look go though!!! I should’ve known we were in the wrong place at the wrong time when I was confused as to whether I should congratulate the young men on their fashion or avoid eye contact in case they were eyeing my purse. These kids are a damn mess! And if I see another young lady in some snow boots, I promise I’ll start carrying around a vile of chicken blood to splash it on snow boot fashion offenders. We live in freakin’ Texas!!! Snow, what is that? Boot, you mean like for the rodeo? Ok, so we’re really not that slow on fashion, but the movies is not the place for all that madness. Overall, I say BOO!!!!!

Oh yeah, and I’m still not sure what the hell happened with those M&M’s.

 ~ty

Advertisements

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Crank that WHAT???

Posted by itiwtt on November 27, 2007

souljaboy.jpg 

Im 2 clean off in this hoe
Watch me crank it
Watch me roll
Watch me crank that roosavelt
And super soak that Hoe

What in the hell have we succumb to listening to!                                     

After further review, I feel the need to get this off my chest.  The Soulja Boy has seeped it’s way into every aspect of my life.  After a couple of cocktails (never go a day without one) at the bowling alley, I noticed in the corner of my eye four little white girls were making up a dance routine. Just Picture!:) Before I know it The Souja Boy song comes on the radio. About four lanes away were these same little girls  yelling “you ready ….lets do it” as if it were a cheerleading competition.  So I watched the entire dance routine in disbelief. Lord what have we come to!  That was The Souja Boy routine siting #1.

Four days later I’m driving down the street on a Wednesday evening around 6ish and I stop at a red light.  Lo and behold, on the opposite side of the street three girls just jump out of their blue escort (does ford still make these?). I wondered why they were getting out of the car. I rolled down the window to hear you know what blasting from their little putt putt…The Souja Boy.  These little heifers did a quick rendition of the routine, including the “Superman that Hoe”,  and jumped back in the car.  That was The Souja Boy routine sighting #2.

Less than a week later after all this madness, we set sail for the beautiful Mexican Riviera.  The ship has several clubs on board with DJs from different countries.  One in particular from Trinidad had a huge fascination with the Hip Hop culture.  So every night, what did he play…………………………….. The Souja Boy. But wait! After putting the song into rotation he would come out his box to show everybody on the dance floor how to do the dance.   I should know the dance by now…YOU THINK!!!

~Jaye

Jaye,

I totally agree with your disdain for the whole Soulja Boy epidemic.  It was cute at first (over 6 months ago), but that quickly disappeared when the masses caught on.  I hate that EVERYONE is trying to do it.  If you’re over 40 there’s no need for you to do the soulja boy.  Just stick to the electric slide!  I will not be drawn into it’s ridiculousness and I vow that I will not be performing the dance from this point on.  It’s starting to seem like the latest form of Cooning.

~MissTrina

Jaye,

I’m with Bill on this one, Black people are out to destroy everything that is good and respected about the race. Soulja Boy (did I spell that stupid sh** correctly) is basically “cooning” at its best. Apparently that seems to be the intention of most black performers anyway. So, don’t try to blame it on little Soulja–blame it on the others who taught him how to perfect the art of cooning: Sammy Davis Jr, Bishop Don Juan, Cuba Gooding…just to name a few.

Happy Chrismakwanzaahanukkah,

tyra

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »