Trials and Tribulations of the Tenderoni Weblog

“Oh, I thought it was the trash!”

Ponytails are for Little Girls

Posted by itiwtt on October 3, 2007


As I’m driving home yesterday, I see a man clearly near 50 going into Captain D’s with two ponytails in his head–a part down the middle with a plait on each side. My first thought is maybe he just got out of jail. Then the questions start flowing. Who is his family, and why are they letting him walk around like that?? Did he part it himself? How many men know how to put up their own ponytails?  Women have got to stop being their accomplices.  If you are a male over the age of 2, it is unacceptable for you to be walking around with pigtails!  I love Snoop, but he is wrong for the ponytails too!  I would die if I called somebody asking what you doing and the response is, “Plaiting Jimmy’s hair.”  I mean what’s the hierarchy? Whose hair gets done first? Does Little Bebe have to wait until mama gets done with daddy’s hair before she can get her hair done? Hmmmmm

We have all seen these violators.  A few weeks ago I saw a guy I grew up with wearing a plethora of ponytails all over his head, and he was balding in the front.  The top of his hair was STRETCHED into 2 ponytails and there were about 8 around the sides and back. STOP THE MADNESS! If balding is not a sign that you need to let it go, then I don’t know what to tell you. Now if you just happen to have that luxurious, silky, wavy #5 and have been known to make all the females jealous because you have “Indian in your family,” then one ponytail positioned at the nape of the neck is semi-acceptable. The one pony is also acceptable if you are a stripper, auto mechanic,  ballet dancer, delivery man, hair stylist, or singer/rapper.  If I’m lying, I’m flying. And as you can see I’m still on the ground (you can’t really see me, but just picture me well grounded on the beach with a margarita in one hand and Keston Karter on my arm hehehe).

“Boy, that ain’t nothing but a Ultra Perm” – Clarence the barber


Miss Trina, 

EEEWWWW!!! This is one those things I’d rather not talk about. But I have to say, I don’t believe that pony tails are acceptable. However, in certain instances Mexicans, Native Americans and Islanders are the ones who fall under the catergory: luxurious, silky, wavy #5.  Now multiple PONY TAILS are for young girls under the age of 13. In no case should there be a grown-ass man with pony tails–PERIOD. Who said that was cute?  Every male species should have a nice fade, but there are exceptions to every rule. Are we to assume that these fellas don’t have real jobs? Is this just acceptable in the ghetto? I have to blame this morally wrong doing on the women in their life. And baby his hair probably looks better than yours.


Miss Trina,

I agree with you on this one. I used to have a co-worker with a ponytail, and whenever we would make reference to him it would sound something like this, “You know Mike, the guy in marketing with the ponytail.” So men with ponytails are therefore confined to being the-guy-with-the-ponytail. Any and every detail or description about them must contain reference to the ponytail. Then, when guys finally get some sense and cut off the pony, people make such a big deal about. They wanna know why they cut it, how long they had it, was it even their real hair, was it permed. LOL! Even worse, he’ll never be released from the ponytail stigma–“Remember when Mike had that ponytail?” See what I mean. So having a ponytail is kinda like a person who used to be fat. They might look good now, but people always remember in the backs of their minds how fat that person used to be. Hateful, but true. Shame on y’all.



One Response to “Ponytails are for Little Girls”

  1. Fred said

    I going to have to ride hard on this one. Ponytails are seriously for girls and Snoop. If you are not an entertainer of some kind then cut your damn hair and look like you got some sense! There is nothing worse than somebody wanting you to take them seriously and they want to run around in real life looking like a gay pirate. I mean, I even give cats that have dreads a pass but that’s another rant. Bottom line: blow it out, loc it up or cornrow it but don’t be running around here looking like a fake a$$ Pippi Longstockings.

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