Trials and Tribulations of the Tenderoni Weblog

“Oh, I thought it was the trash!”

Labor Day the Tenderoni Way Part 1

Posted by itiwtt on September 7, 2007

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I must say that we three had a very eventful Labor Day weekend, so it will be broken down into parts.  We all decided months ago that we needed a break from our day-to-day hustles.  What could be more relaxing than a spa day and a night at a fancy hotel??  Unfortunately the weekend was anything but relaxing…me and my house are still trying to recover!!

Our first stop was a spa in Dallas.  As usual Ty and I were running late because I left my shoes and had to turn around, and as usual Jaye was cussing.  The spa had a nice little ethnic motif and the glasses of wine didn’t hurt either.  Erykah Badu’s greatest hits played for 16 hours, and most of our conversation was about the guy working on our feet and whether or not he was gay.  He spoke in soft whispers, and none of us knew what the hell he was saying.  “Girl what did he just say?” In the end, the experience was just okay–we were not impressed.

Onward to the fabulous W Hotel!  Driving up in a rented Volvo and my little dusty Acura (guess i should have washed it–maybe it would have looked a little more fancy) we looked like the night shift maids driving up.  Porsches, BMWs, Benz’s, Bentley’s and a Lamborghini parked on the sidewalk.  A vintage Rolls Royce with a driver and an unknown Black man chillin’ in the backseat drove up to valet behind us. FASCINATING! Who the hell are these people with all this money??? Once we walked in, we had to put on our “FABULOUS” — no eye contact, I know where I’m going, I’m important, and I’m not impressed.  It must have worked because the bellhop C.K. told us that we were working it and we must be from New York or Hollywood.  We just giggled and then proceeded to argue over whether she was a man or woman.

We put our bags in the room and decided to go back downstairs to get something to eat.  When we got on the elevator, we noticed that Jaye and the white lady on the elevator had on the same dress.  A little cotton halter dress that is currently priced at around $57.  Jaye thought she was looking cute until BOOF in her face.  This lady was wearing hers as a mere swimsuit cover.  After we helped Jaye pick her face up off the floor we went to the House of Blues for lunch. 

Back at the room we started to get dressed for our big night at the Ghost Bar.  The whole room was dimly lit, which makes it hard to see those minor details.  Why not turn on a lamp?  The lamp won’t come on!  Is it plugged in?  Yes.  You mean to tell me we spent all this money and the damn light’s not working.  Jaye calls downstairs immediately and 5 minutes later a maintenance man was at the door.  We tell him the lamp isn’t working and he just looks at us and flips the switch. Voila!!!  Mind you the lamp is by the window and the switch is at the front door in the bathroom, so we’re not idiots, but don’t tell nobody we couldn’t figure that out! Meanwhile, another attendant is at the door delivering my stillettos I left in the car (yes the same shoes I left at the house that made us late for the spa). Now that’s what I call service!! “Umm yes, this is room 1205. I left my shoes in my backseat.  Could you please fetch them for me?” So, this must be how the rich and famous feel on the daily.  And then as I’m curling my hair, the guy peeks through the door and exclaims, “Something is on fire!”  Ummm yeah that’s my hair smoking. LOL!  The maintenance man just shook his head, and we realized that the Hispanic guy just had his first lesson in Black hair care. 

This is only the beginning!  You can only imagine what the rest of the weekend was like.  I’ll let someone else tell the rest.

“Lisa, your sheep herder makes Darryl look like a welfare case!”

 ~MissTrina

Trina,

Where do I begin? First of all, I’m not backing down–CK was/is a MAN. I heard a slight lisp and witnessed a perm with nappy side-burns. These are all clues that lead to HIM being a gay man. For the record, CK was very nice and the W should be glad to have him. He thought the Funky Town Tenderonies (me, Trina, Jaye) were fab. Hopefully part two of our Labor Day tale will divulge why and when the pain in my legs and feet started. Did we participate in a tootsie roll contest that I dont’ remember?

~Ty

Ok Ty,  I forgot to tell you cuz you were passed out in the rented Volvo Sunday morning. YES, CK was and is a man!!! I had to go back inside to get you a cup of java, ran into CK, and noticed that in the sun, the uniform showed that he was in fact a man. He could have fooled me! But i still think the guy who did the foot massages was for sure “a gay”. Now as far as my dress, my face is still broken but I did purchase the dress in L.A. Here in NM, that dress is the shit but apparently not in the “Big D”. I did attend a pool party on Monday wearing the dress over my kini, and I was over-dressed.

Okay, now as for the check-in, I arrived in Dallas a tad early so I proceeded to an early check-in @ the “W” and what an experiece that was.

  1.  I was escorted by one of the VIP GMs with a bellman as well.
  2. My rented Volvo was parked in the front for my immediate use.
  3. I’m under the impression that I’m somebody at this point. 

Hold tight there is much more of this day to come >>>>>>>>>

~Jaye

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